Step 5 in Positive Parenting
Welcome to the most crucial part of Positive Parenting, which is
ENCOURAGEMENT
"A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water." Rudolf Dreikurs
Instead of correcting a child's wrong behavior, focus on guiding
them to feel they belong. Show appreciation when they display good behavior.
It's called "deserved attention."
That way, your child understands what they should repeat, do more often, and build on.
Telling them what not to do doesn't show them how to build from there.
Encouragement is an art.
Some people kill every plant even if they love them, while others have green fingers and the skill to make it grow nicely. It's an art that can be learned, just as encouragement can be learned, too.
An encouraged child has courage, which is the main ingredient for success in relationships, jobs, hobbies, and life.
The "I CAN" and "I MATTER" attitudes stem from here.
Do you remember that being human means feeling inferior?
There is so much for a child to learn that inevitably, they will fail thousands of times and succeed in millions of ways. The latter often remains unnoticed as it seems evident, but it isn't. Therefore, a crucial part of parenting is acknowledging when children attempt to reach goals and when they reach goals.
Because always remember, they feel inferior and strive for a perceived plus. You don't want them to be confirmed that they are inadequate when they are trying their best to move towards being as significant to you as you are to them.
"When a child makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a certain goal, we must avoid any word or action which indicates that we consider him a failure. 'Too bad that didn't work.' 'I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.' We need to separate the deed from the doer." Rudolf Dreikurs
We start learning to encourage by first distinguishing between encouragement and praise.
Please open the file below. I hope you appreciate the new information.
See you soon, and until then, focus on encouraging!
Warmly,
Martina
Email me if you have a question regarding this exercise.